Starting Fresh - How to Let Go of 2020

As I prepared for writing this article, I forced myself to get uncomfortable and reflect on the year 2020 (just typing the number makes me feel exhausted, lonely, heavy, and anxious). I needed to allow raw feelings to emerge from the place I've been stuffing them since March. I realized that I could not be alone in these feelings. I know millions of people feel the same way, if not more emotionally defeated by this unprecedented year. This is why I thought this topic was so worthy of your attention.

2020 was a year of firsts for so many, including unimaginable loss and heartache, and positive experiences including personal growth, and unexpected success for some industries and sectors who were willing and able to adapt and survive. I think we can all agree that there were essential lessons, learning, and stretching for all of us. 

As a historical year comes to an end and we venture into a new landscape, I've seen more and more people taking the time to reflect on what the last year has taught them and set intentions for 2021. Instead of setting a "New Year Resolution," I thought we could do something different.

We all want a fresh start, yes? A little redemption, if you will. So how can we cleanse ourselves of the weight and despair of 2020 and go into the new year with zero baggage? We must recognize what it took for us to get here. A lot of effort went into surviving last year, and as much as we want to THRIVE in the new year, I also want you to give yourself grace. Being here is enough. Anything else you accomplish is a bonus. Your worth will not be based on your achievements alone (repeat that). 

Listen, I'm not an expert on this topic– but it's a good thing that we at DriverCheck have friends with notable credentials. To help me speak to this topic, I asked Hari Chettiar, (M.C., R.P.), of MindCentre to provide some tips that will help ground us this year and let go of what could have been.

He made it clear that to let go of the past; we must recognize the moments when we are escaping the present.

"Be mindful when you get pulled into the "thinking treadmill," warns Chettiar. "When we feel anxious about our current circumstances and the future, our mind might try to play out the different "what if" scenarios. Unfortunately, this way of trying to problem solve just adds to our emotional load. With each new thought, we may have more emotions that get triggered."

"It is more helpful to tune-in the emotion you are feeling at the time by identifying the sensations that come along with that feeling. For instance, some people feel tightness in their chest when they are feeling scared, and others feel a heaviness in their head or whole body when they are feeling sad." Chettiar explains. "Once you identify the feeling, take a moment to pay attention to your breathing so you can anchor yourself to the present moment, then ask yourself, "what do I need at this moment for comfort?". It may be a short break, a cup of tea/coffee, a chat with a friend, or even a power nap."

"After you have had a chance to comfort yourself, the original emotion is likely to settle, and at this point, you can access your higher functioning part of your mind to truly assess the problem you might be facing and implement a constructive solution. In this way, you can try to face your day to day circumstances and reduce the chance of ruminating about some of the challenges we faced in 2020."

I took the liberty of summarizing Chettiar’s thoughts into a few bullets for you. If you find it helpful, keep these in a safe place and use them as you need them.

1. Be mindful of your thoughts

2. Tune into the emotion(s) you are feeling

3. Focus on your breathing to ground yourself in the present moment

4. Ask yourself, "What do I need at this moment for comfort? Then do it.

5. Honestly assess the problem and implement a constructive solution

6. Continue your day with less worry and more positivity 

I hope this article provided you with some new tools to try, and more importantly, reminds you that you are not alone on this journey of self-growth. This year WILL be different because YOU’RE different. The experiences you had last year birthed a new version of you that sees the world in a different light. Be gentle with yourself and give others that same grace. 2021 is a clean slate and has the opportunity to be a year full of love, compassion, and healing. The choice is ours to make.

HARI CHETTIAR, (M.C., R.P.)

MindCentre

Hari is a Registered Psychotherapist in his group practice (Chettiar Counselling) and the founder of Mind Centre. He is passionate about working collaboratively with his clients to help them discover their own path to self-transformation. He is also engaged in transforming workplace culture to promote emotional intelligence in the workplace. He is an experienced speaker who strives to connect with his audience and offers mental wellness strategies tailored to fit the corporate environment.

Learn more about MindCentre: mindcentre.ca

KRISTEN SALERNO

Marketing Coordinator

My job as DC’s Marketing Coordinator is to show clients, partners, and the public that a healthier and safer world is possible.

With a background in Broadcast Journalism and a passion for videography, I help create brand content that is educational, engaging and provides value to our clients.

When I am not working, you can find me up in Northern Ontario with my Husband, snowshoeing, fishing, or playing with our border collie/blue heeler named Merlin.